We have many relationships. The question is, how do we create successful relationships if we are not aware of which relationships we’re referring to.
Usually, when we refer to relationships we mean intimate relationships.
Our first relationship is the one with ourselves. Another relationship we have are those with other people. And a further relationship is the one with our environment and planet Earth.
We also have a relationship with how we make money, and another with all the things we have and make use of in our daily lives.
Lastly, we have intimate relationships with a partner, whether that is a life partner or our spouse.
What Does It Mean To Create Successful Relationships?
Let’s start here. When our relationship with anything, say our car or residence or job is successful we know either of two things, everything is working as we would want it to be. Therefore it is successful because it is working. Therefore we’re okay because such a relationship is okay.
Then at another time, the relationship does not work for whatever reason, and consequently, we say that this relationship is not successful. The reason It is not working might be anything.
Let’s say for this discussion, it is that we want time off at work which does not suit our manager – and this causes us to consider that the relationship we have at work with our manager is unsuccessful. And to take this a step further, let’s say this is a recurring pattern.
What we need to do is calmly look at what the cause is of the discourse caused by us wanting time off. Especially considering that this is recurring.
A second point is this. Are we okay with whether we get to take time off work or not? The crux is hidden whether we are okay.
A third point is this. Is our wanting time off reasonable in terms of our employment arrangement?
Lastly, when we create a successful relationship at work with our manager, and it is based on mutual respect and integrity? Would the discourse occur?
Which Relationships Should Be Successful?
Do we want certain relationships to be successful, and other relationships not? To create successful relationships impacts our inner peace. The ones that aren’t successful is sure to cause discourse.
At this point, we need to explore the many relationships we have. Everyone and everything we encounter each and every day, anywhere we go: The shopping assistant. Our colleagues. How we take care of ourselves. What we eat. How we make money. How we treat nature.
This is not an exhaustive list at all. I’m scratching the surface. Suffice to say, we have relationships that we do not realize we have or that they are relationships.
Do we want to create successful relationships with only some of these? And have inner peace with those and with others where we’re not interested to create successful relationships, we aren’t interested in having inner peace?
Why Do We Want To Create Successful Relationships?
As alluded to above when we want to create successful relationships only in certain cases, it impacts our experience where we consider them successful or unsuccessful, and when unsuccessful, it causes discourse.
It may even cause conflict. The relationship may even cause sleeplessness. Let’s explore sleeplessness. Do we have a relationship with our sleep?
Let’s jump into the depth of why we want to create successful relationships. If they aren’t all successful then is the balance and harmony within our life successful or unsuccessful?
As is evident from these scenarios, we would definitely want all our relationships to be successful, not so?
In 5 Quick Ways to Develop Successful Relationships, the author asserts: Nothing great happens by accident. It’s always intentional. Always. And provides this quote: “I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man,
or the president of the university.” – Albert Einstein
When our relationships are looked at individually, we don’t see the picture clearly. The catch 22 is that it first requires that we look individually, to see how many relationships we have in our lives.
We also need to see that our relationships are interlinked and intertwined.
When looking at them in isolation and holistically, we notice that for us to have harmony in our lives, we would want to create successful relationships with everyone and everything.
And taking this a step further, to its full conclusion, if our relationship with ourselves is unsuccessful, then our relationship with everyone and everything is in jeopardy.
And, are these relationships conditional or unconditional?
Meaning: Do we consider a relationship successful when things go well and unsuccessful when there is discourse? Or do we consider a relationship successful whether things go well or when there are obstacles and hurdles? The crux is this, by considering them successful unconditionally, we would address all eventualities with harmony and respect, first to ourselves, and automatically with respect and integrity towards everyone and everything.
Hence: Our relationship with ourselves sets the tone for our life! See our series of articles on this topic below.