Why do we procrastinate?
Say we want to ask someone we’re attracted to for a date. We might even fantasize about the date. Yet we just can’t bring ourselves to ask.
Why is that?
Does any of the following present itself when contemplating asking for the date?
We don’t like making mistakes.
We don’t like getting turned down.
We don’t like being vulnerable.
We don’t like being rejected.
We’re not in the other person’s league.
When doing things and making decisions we expose ourselves and could make mistakes. Or show our ignorance. Or be turned down.
We might feel rejected!
Thus we are afraid!
Possibly afraid of rejection!
Any of the aforementioned might occur when doing things and making decisions.
Thus we procrastinate because we might not like or want the outcome of our action or decision. We’re thus afraid of the possible consequences.
Is the aforementioned not why we procrastinate!
Underlying the aforementioned is low self-confidence.
The converse also applies. With growing self-confidence, the less we consider the possible consequences and the more responsible and accountable we become. Meaning, we stand by our decisions, no matter what the outcome.
While we don’t have self-confidence and therefore have difficulty accepting the possible consequences, we are governed by wanting a certain outcome. Therefore we don’t take action and don’t make decisions. Thus procrastinating! Oh, until the last minute or when placed under pressure, we’ll hurriedly take action or make a forced decision.
An important aspect of self-confidence is, before we have it, we’d want a certain outcome due to say not liking the idea of failing or say not liking rejection. After we have self-confidence, we are not fazed by the possible consequences. We recognize that if we don’t achieve the wanted outcome, it’s not about rejection or failing, and merely about something happening as it did. And that result does not have a bearing on us.
Another important aspect of self-confidence is: If we’re okay within ourselves no matter what transpires, the outcome has no bearing on our state of being or our inner peace.
Whether the outcome of what we’re wanting to do is different to what we’d prefer, or our decision is rejected or things don’t work out – and also the converse (what we’re wanting to do, or our decision does work out): none of the aforementioned has any bearing on who we are. Nothing dictates or reflects that we’re better or worse or has bearing on our self-worth.
We do this to derive value for ourselves. For instance, when not rejected or when something works out, it might make us feel successful or worthy or better than or happy or cool. We dread the possible consequences, because if not favourable, our derived value isn’t favourable, and we adjudge and ascribe that as a reflection on us!
That is not the case: merely our unreal and untrue perception. And it is that adjudging that causes us to procrastinate.
Aforementioned relates to our maturity level which affects our self-confidence. Though nothing of how we perceive things, as reflecting on us, is real. These are merely perceptions.
These perceptions change as we mature, as our self-confidence grows. Then we recognize the adjudging as non-serving and self-manufactured. Note, as we mature and grow so we outgrow others.
Therefore, there is no reason to procrastinate.
Rather consider the information and do or decide, no matter what: Let’s follow our heart, our instinct, our gut. The outcome has no bearing on us or who we are or our worthiness or our okayness.
How do we stop procrastinating? How do we get past these self-imposing hurdles? How do we mature? How do we attain self-confidence?
Acknowledge that we procrastinate.
Acknowledge further that we procrastinate because we fear the possible consequences.
Acknowledge further that we adjudge, ascribe and derive value related to our okayness and self-worthiness, based on the outcome of what we do or decide.
Acknowledge further that ascribing our worthiness to the outcome of what we do and decide is based on perceptions.
Acknowledge further that those perceptions and derived value are unreal and untrue and have no bearing on our worthiness and okayness.
Acknowledge that we are worthy and okay, no matter what.
Acknowledge further that we need nothing to be worthy or okay.