Are we as independent as we feel we are?
Let’s take a closer look at independence.
Independence is seen as being free of the influence of others – also of outside influences.
Thus we live our lives being content and with inner peace. Thus when this state of being isn’t present, then we’re dependent.
When we’re not at peace, it implies something transpired which impacted on us in such a way that we lost our peacefulness.
If something impacts on us, we are thus dependent on certain outcomes or certain conditions or certain circumstances so we can maintain our state of being.
Not so, else why would we be impacted?
Have we taken such into account when considering our independence?
Let’s take an even closer look.
How often do we get angry, irritated, frustrated, and anxious?
Thus losing our inner peace! Thus we are dependent on the circumstances being conducive.
For example: Do we calmly navigate the traffic? Do we peacefully wait our turn in queues? Do we retain our peacefulness when our neighbours are noisy?
If our answer to the aforementioned is no, and if we lose our inner peace during such incidents, how independent are we?
As can be seen, being independent has wider implications.
It’s about, being at peace and not being dependent on: Food, drink, alcohol, other people, other people’s behaviour, our environment being a certain way.
Another example: In our workplace everything might not be running smoothly and cause us to panic.
Another example: We are easily distracted.
Another example: We want to change our partner’s behaviour.
Another example: We derive security from having money; and when we don’t have we feel insecure.
Another example: We are obsessive?
Any of the aforementioned reflects our dependence on something being different, for us to be calm, relaxed, peaceful, and secure. Again: A reflection of our dependence.
As can be seen from the aforementioned we’re not as independent as we felt we were.
The first step is to ask: Do we want to be independent? If so, the next steps are set out below.
Acknowledge that we want to be independent even though we don’t know how.
Acknowledge further that while our lives are impacted by anger, frustration, irritation, needing security, we’re not independent.
Acknowledge further that being dependent impacts on us in various ways. For instance: On us being content, the quality of our lives, our peacefulness, our being okay within ourselves, the unconditional acceptance of ourselves – thus no matter what, our self-respect, our respect of everyone, everything and anything, thus respect of our environment – should be unconditional.